The Anatomy of Melancholy

For thirty years I have continued (having the use of as good libraries as ever he had) a scholar, and would be therefore loath, either by living as a drone, to be an unprofitable or unworthy member of so learned and noble a society, or to write that which should be any way dishonourable to such a royal and ample foundation. Out of a running wit, an unconstant, unsettled mind, I had a great desire (not able to attain to a superficial skill in any) to have some smattering in all, to be which Plato commends, out of him Lipsius approves andfurthers, “as fit to be imprinted in all curious wits, not to be a slave of one science, or dwell altogether in one subject, as most do, but to rove abroad, to have an oar in every man’s boat, to taste of every dish, and sip of every cup.”

This roving humour (though not with like success) I have ever had, and like a ranging spaniel, that barks at every bird he sees, leaving his game, I have followed all, saving that which I should, and may justly complain that I have read many books, but to little purpose, for want of good method; I have confusedly tumbled over diverse authors in our libraries, with small profit, for want of art, order, memory, judgment.

From The Anatomy of Melancholy by Robert Burton.

Delightful.

I’m just happy to be here

I’m a pretty miserable, terrible person 75% of the time but I can claim to be extremely patient with things like Slow Service, Bad Cell Phone Reception, Flight Delays and the like for reasons outlined by that amazing man above.

Nobody owes us anything.  Hell, I didn’t even get pissed off when that Prata guy was rude to me cause HES FEEDING ME PRATA omg.

A Long List of Retractions from a Nat Geo Intern

Monsieur Decroux,

I might have also messed up your schedule and you’re probably in the wrong country now. But hey, I hear the weather in Mozambique is pretty good this time of year.

I’m going to send a travel guide to your phone and I’ve included some pictures of really nice beaches. Do take care, sir, I’m glad you have this chance to get away from the office. Everything is fine back home.

Danny,

I knew nothing about the Maoist uprising in Kathmandu. I swear. Why would I book a connecting flight from there if I did? You know I’ve got your back man.

Kim,

I might have mixed up your camera gear with my own. I borrowed some for my friend’s wedding. Olympus really isn’t that bad. Hope the Somalia trip goes well.

Head of Security, Mr Bronson, Sir,

I will return the lanyard and security card soon ok.

The End of History

My “Why aren’t more happy things happening” train of thought has led to This Book, Francis Fukuyama’s The End of History and the Last Man.

Either that or I was considering a career as a Historian and was worried that my job prospects weren’t looking too good.

So the last 10 years was all about the rise of Radical Islam and China and the collapse of Free Markets. We defeated our enemies so thoroughly that all we got to enjoy in the naughties was the rise of more super villains.

Outstanding.

Enlist

They might have only taken two years from him but Anger and Resentment will consume the rest of his days

Ringing Endorsement

Since we’re on the subject of funny captions, I would like to whole heartedly endorse Tim Seow’s uncanny ability to sound super earnest when explaining holiday photos.

PS: hahaha,  I really can’t get over the fact that you posted photos in the wrong orientation because you couldn’t fix it.

Unhappy Hipsters

I would like to send this blog hurtling back towards familiar happy territory.

Unhappy Hipsters is a blog where images from Dwell magazine are juxtaposed with very emo philosophical musings.

Example:

The things that once so defined him — shag carpeting, Room & Board sofas, monogamy — now suffocated him.

Like a Renegade Librarian

Its not often that I come out and congratulate Prada on a job well done. But they’ve put together something thats really overcome my distaste for ostentatious spending. The colours, fabric and proportions are nothing short of inspired.

I’m finding it very difficult to reconcile a love for art with helping bridge inequality in the world. Art doesn’t keep people warm or feed their children. It is frequently out of reach of people with more pressing concerns. Perhaps you can help me.

Thus far, the best I can do is apologetically explain that I’m a kind of renegade librarian. Leafing through Prada’s A/W collection and reading a 1954 Supreme Court decision (Brown v. Board of Education) is not congruent.

A Chessplayer’s Apology

After we’ve played our openings, gambits and exchanges, sometimes we have to give up certain positions to protect the ones we value most. As long as we have those, our hopes of eventually winning, however remote, will never really fade.

Ethics is my favourite branch of philosophy

I was once tasked with calling a list of people for some top secret reason. To my surprise, four or five names down this list, a girl picked up. She said something like “Sorry my friend is away.” It also sounded like she had a cold.

She sounded friendly and depressed. Feeling imperious, laden with a tiresome task, starving for attention and with everyone either busy or unreceptive, I decided to overwhelm this poor person with loquacity and wit. Rest assured, I do not usually spontaneously hit on people and it is definitely not something a respected member of this organization would do.

As any jackass in a bar will tell you, 75% of the time such high risk maneuvers fail miserably. The odds are  truly stacked against you, young loitering male of questionable character. You can only marginally improve it with confidence, good looks and originality. Fortunately, I have all three in chronic abundance. A formidable triumvirate.

Her friend works on an oil rig or something and is frequently away for long periods of time. As the conversation wore on, her friend became her boyfriend. I think its hilarious that just by speaking to women, you can make them commit to someone else.   Its also rather presumptuous of them to think you’re interested. But the hilarity > annoyance because my brain thinks faster than it can feel. Its almost like mood lability.

A quick aside: I am strongly against boyfriends. All kinds. I don’t think they contribute anything useful to society and they add dead weight to conversations. The mere mention of them used to make me feel somewhat self conscious (Am I starting to sound like a sleazebag?) but nowadays I just plow headlong through that flimsy hurdle. Unless I know the guy, definitely unless I know the guy. In fact, I have a pre-flight check list of when its OK to ignore aviation conventions.

The Pre-flight checklist is a repackaged version of the Bro code, which we all know is a living breathing document much like the US constitution. It is designed for easy consumption and is 100% legalese free. It often defies the immutable laws of physics.

Ok, now I’ve completely lost track of where the story was going so I’m just going to stop now.

It was a meaningful conversation with a complete stranger. I wished her budding romance well, told her he was just using her as a house sitter and that she should rearrange all the furniture.

The End.