There are two types of people:
1. Those who bore others.
2. Those who bore themselves.
Those who perpetually bore themselves tend to amuse others.
Going to Austria
Spending a couple of nights in Vienna. Things i know about Austria include:
1. Beethoven lived there
2. Vienna Boys Choir just accepted a pair of Singaporean twins
3. Sound of Music
4. Franz Ferdinand started World War I
Must be a big place for music.
Lean Times
Started getting off my ass for runs sometime around February. This was when I pioneered several motivational hacks to get myself to go the distance. The simplest one was to just run in one direction and not in a circle. Which means taking a bus far away and running home. Then i started running from camp. Also very helpful since you want to get as far away from the place as possible.
Then in March i decided it would be a good idea to lose some weight. Mind you, this wasn’t some sort of narcassitic image conscious decision. After all, I spent a good part of my life being comfortably pudgy (though I swear I’ve always been an elegant lean long limbed lanky person on the inside).
No sir, this was just my natural inquisitiveness at work. After all, if i can trick my brain into running 5km three times a week for no good reason, I could probably get him to lose weight and not notice a thing, the clueless bugger. But theres no way I’m going to run more, so i’ll just have to eat less.
Compulsive repetitive behaviour is indeed very useful for healthy eating. Here is a brief summary of all the nasty habits i’ve developed so far.
1. I eat six small meals a day. Every meal, I take a smaller than usual portion of carbs and then halve that. This poses an unusual problem at breakfast since I usually have a slice of toast. I actually tried toasting half a slice of bread then discovered it was abit difficult getting the toast out. Lesson learnt: just eat a slice of toast.
2. My meals are timed exactly three hours a part. I have lunch at the cookhouse twice. Once when they first open shop. Again when they are dishing out leftovers. This is when i pile on the food.
3. Tuesdays is Banana Day at the cookhouse. I steal a couple of ripe ones and a few green ones. Ripe bananas go in my top drawer, green bananas in the bottom drawer. To be consumed over the course of the week. Also, every morning, I come in and check on my green bananas. Its like a pet rock.
4. I also steal apples and pears and put them in my pockets. Cargo pants and Army Fatigues are for shoplifters. Why else would you need so many pockets? Pants should have four maximum.
5. I can eat a copious amount of salad if i have my favourite dressing. Its from Australia and I’m working on having it flown in. Having said that, I will never give up red meat.
6. One of the hardest habits to kick is canned drinks. I solved this problem by carrying around a bottle of ice cold water and drinking from it every 15 minutes. Sometimes I do this without noticing and I never feel the urge to go to the vending machine. Avoid glucose spike.
Mind you, I’m not starving myself. I’m fighting the lag between what the body needs and what the brain thinks it needs. It hardly feels like a regimen too since i get a real kick out of meeting these little nitty goals.
Perhaps the most surprising thing about this experiment is that despite telling myself that I won’t become a uber health conscious twit, I’m starting to acutely feel the effects of crappy food. Hell, even after a couple of beers, I will feel more guilty than a Catholic. Its like my stomach reacting with disgust everytime i reach for fast food or a cheap ass cone of icecream. I get a greater kick out of a 6 gram-o-fat Subway. Curious.
Outlook
On a macrocosmic level, I believe we will be let down. The Levees will break; All hell shall break loose; Everything returns to dust; Evil and Greed will triumph over Good, Temperance and Civility.
Having said that, we can delight in the little things that seem incorruptible. I have a long list and yours will differ from mine.
Top of the list is humour.
The ability to be Humorous requires empathy, tolerance and kindliness, all rather commendable qualities. Also, have you ever noticed that telling someone that so-and-so is hilarious has the odd effect of making you seem like a funny person yourself?
Through humour, i think we can all recognise that we dont live in a slew of mediocrity; that in any moment, just by being abit silly, we can puncture the pomposity and bleakness of our world.
Enough vapid despondency. Have a nice day.
